Zachary Burns | Zack Burns | Tailgating/Bus/RV

Tailgating/Bus/RV

This story begins with "be careful of what you wish for....you just might get it".

And as you can tell from the photo below.....Yes, I own a bus!

The story starts in October of 2021. I was looking for a second golf cart for the campground, since the golf cart I currently have is at the Lake House and it's a pain to trailer it to the campground. I just want to show up to the campsite and camp. Anyway, the prices for stuff are just absolutely crazy now, so I decided to hit the goverment surplus auction sites. Universities/Schools/Goverment agencies sell cars, golf carts, food prep items, seized property, you name it...it's on the site!

I had a bid of $2000 for few golf carts, but they were selling for $4000+ (which is totally overpriced) for what I wanted. So I would get outbid, and just wait for the next thing to come up. I would look and bid on a item if I thought it had value and I could do something with it (like an old Crown Victoria cop car, or "Short School Bus", retired Ambulance, etc). I've been outbid on all of it - which didn't really bother me.

There happened to be a school system in New Jersey that had a few Short Busses for sale and "for giggles" I bid on a couple of them. They were going for $4500-$5000 dollars, so I thought nothing of it and I figured I was safe with my bid of $2000 not getting it. Well.....a few days goes by and I get a notice in my inbox that I won the bus.

Long story short....I had to pay and pick up the item within 10 days. I had a few weeks to burn for vacation before the end of the year, so I said "what the heck...let's go to New Jersey and get it". The vehicle was sight unseen, I didn't test drive it, it was sold "As-Is"....so I was crossing my fingers it would all work out. It made the almost 600 mile drive back (with just the bill of sale and New Jersey title in hand). I didn't get stopped by the cops for no plates and the bus ride was a blast. Driving through the Pocono's Mountains during the fall weather was beautiful. It really was fun (and a little nerve racking too). I even stopped at a scenic overlook to take a photo - hah!

I was trying to do this "on the cheap", so the trip out to New Jersey consisted of an 8 hour drive, sleeping at a Motel 8 (gross!) and eating fast food. The only hiccup in the trip was the first few hours with the bus. I had to get gas in it. If you've ever gotten gas in New Jersey - it's stupid. They still have attendants that you have to give your credit card to, tell them what gas you want, and they have to fill the tank for you. I had to also try and fill the tires with a gas station air pump which didn't go well since the rear dual tire stems were a pain to get to. Those little travel air pumps are worthless also! I had to hit an Autozone literally in the bouroughs of NJ to get a passenger wiper blade and some spare oil, just in case. That was a flashback to the 50's and 60's with little corner stores on each corner that people visit every day for their needs. I just would drive around and laugh....I own a bus....yikes!

What the heck was I going to do with a bus anyway? Naturally, around these parts, I figured I'd turn it into a Tailgating Bus and just have fun with it. I wasn't going to pass an inspection to haul kids around and I wasn't going to use it commercially, so a tailgating motorhome is what it's going to be.....So that's the plan. I've got a while to rip the seats out and get some essentials in it (like a fridge, microwave, etc, etc) before next football season, so I'm just going to take it slow. I've got way too many projects on my plate now! It's going to get painted probably white with all the teams I like to follow and travel around the midwest. It should be some fun!

For those of you that score your own bus, you may want to watch a few people that have done this before. Just search for "Skoolie" conversions and you cand see what others have done. The seats are probably the hardest thing to get out (the opposite of what you'd think) because the bolts holding them in are probably rusted togther. What worked well was using a 40 Grit grinding wheel (or cutoff wheel - your choice) and just grid the bolt heads off. You then push the seat over from the chair rail side and any remaining part of the bolt head will pop right off and the chair is free to be thrown right out the back door!

Don't forget....most likely some nose-picking kids rode this bus, so take some pictures as you go. All I found was a Pokeman card, a Nintendo DS stylus, a lego piece and lots of Starburst candy wrappers.

Another thing I forgot to mention....check your state laws...some states you have to jump through some hoops to get the title converted and plates registered (which I did have to do a few hoop jumping scenarios that I won't bore you with)....just be prepared to bend over (it is the government after all).

As time and progress permits, I'll update this page with photos...

I even fired up my 3D-Printer since it was missing a Dex-Cool Coolant Cap. So I fired up TinkerCAD and created a new one. Works perfectly! Cost a few cents instead of trying to track one down and pay 15 dollars for one.

Oh, also a note. If you decide to work on a project, you may want to let your neighbors know the plan. I had a new neighbor come over and ask if she could help convert it! She's a sweet lady, but told her it's ok. I appreciated the offer....but this was something I wanted to do myself. Something to keep me busy for a while.

Of course, there's the other side of the coin. There's always one neighbor that's an asshole. I have one of those too (actually two of them). They are so bored, have no life, and the only thing they have to do is harrass others. Well, that asshole neighbor (yes, I know who it is) went so far as to file a complaint with city government about the bus parked in my driveway.

At first, I laughed because it was going to be parked in the garage up north - so I had planned on moving it anyway. After all, I was going to want to get in and out of my garage during the winter months in favor of my daily driver.

Ya know, back in my day, we would actually walk over to the neighbor and talk. I mean how hard is it to go over to your neighbor and say "What's going on with the bus?" I would have gladly explained, it's going to be parked here for a couple of weeks while I rip the seats out and paint it, etc. But this neighbor is such a wuss, I guess he's afraid (never waves when you say hi, etc.)

So the city and my neighbor want to play hard ball, eh? I'm game!

I read the city ordinance and it was violating an ordinance not allowing "commercial or industrial equipment" to be visible from the sidewalk. Hah! I fire up the computer and write a letter back to the city basically stating that "I'm not violating that law - I have a legally registered recreational vehicle". "Check! Your Move!" (In Chess Parlance).

A few days goes by and I get another letter from the city basically spouting another ordinace...."it's against the law to have a recreational vehicle parked in your driveway from November 1 to March 31". Oh, it is, is it?

I fire up the computer, I read the law....and find another loophole...I start writing a letter to the city (I can do this all day) and my "better half" stopped me and said, are you really going to fight the city? "Of course, I am!", I replied! If the neighbor and city want to fight...I'll fight! I mean come on! City Government loves this kinda of crap. It makes them feel like they are important people. Why else does anybody go into government? They have no real skills or talent - they'd never make it in the "real world" - they are there to basically say, "Look at me. Look at how important and powerful I am. Look at how I am helping you, you dumb citizen." So yes, I was going to fight this on principle.

I could go on and on about Government and Politics....but past President Ronald Reagan said it best in 1986.... The nine most terrifying words in the English language are "I’m from the government, and I’m here to help!"
I mean think about it, the Government has one job....Protect the People from Foreign and Domestic Threats, not threaten its citizens. Just uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. If the people want to change it is possible and easy to do. The government creates nothing. Literally, they produce not one thing. All they do it take. (Have you looked at your taxes lately? It's almost 45% for some of us!) Anyway, I'm getting way off the topic here....way off topic....

After a lengthy debate, and sleeping on it overnight, I guess she's right. I finally concede. I'll just take it up north and store it. I can work on it up there if I want to. Do I really want to waste my valuable time fighting an asshole neighbor and an idiot in government? I was planning on moving it anyway, so I'll move on and do something more productive with my time.

But for fun, I'm going to paint the RV bright-pink and park it right in the driveway from April 1 to October 31 in the coming years....just to piss off the neighbors. Why not get the last laugh!